The other day I started to think about what makes one person grow up to take chances in life and try new things…and another almost hyperventilate at the thought of trying something new. And then I remembered a book I’ve had for many, many years.
Here is a section from that book with 5 tips on how to encourage your kids to take chances. The title of the book is “Celebrate Your Child: The Art of Happy Parenting” and it’s by Richard Carlson, Ph.D. Richard is probably best known for his book: Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff…and it’s all Small Stuff.
“Regrets Result from Unattempted Challenges
In my entire adult lifetime, I’ve meet very few people who regretted things they tried that were unsuccessful. Almost always, regret is tied to a life that wasn’t fully lived, activities never attempted, career changes that never happened, places never visited, people never met, and so forth.
As we look back at our life, we have a profound understanding that failure is nothing to be afraid of; it is a necessary component to life, which helps shape our direction. We learn and grow from every failure. No one likes it, but it has to happen.
Creative children grow up to have almost no regrets because they were willing to take chances and follow their own path. Fostering a creative, risk-0taking attitude in your child is a gift that will ensure a happy, adventuresome life.
Five Simple Ways to Encourage Risk-Taking
1. Take a class with your child on something you know nothing about.
Take a ballet class or a model-building class, something different-something you know nothing about. Be the only man in an all-women’s class, or the only woman in an all0-men’s class. Show your children that it’s okay to be different andit’s okay to be a beginner.
2. Praise people for trying.
Never say “Look at that fool.” Never laugh at someone because he isn’t an expert. If you do, your child will learn to avoid new things for fear of looking like a fool. Instead, praise people for trying new things. Applaud beginners. Give them as much, or more, praise than the winner.
3. Ask your child what he would like to do that he’s never done before.
Rather than repeating last week’s activities, ask your chi ld to think of something he’s always wanted to do. If he can’t think of anything, participate in the exercise. “Let’s see, I wonder if it would be fu n to…” Encourage newness and exploration.
4. Encourage enthusiasm for the unknown.
Whenever your child says, “I wonder what it would be like to try…,” encourage it. Respond with an enthusiastic, “I’m sure you can.” If possible, try it too. Say, “Hey, maybe we could check it out together.”
5. Be willing to undertake some discomfort or inconvenience to help your child experience newness.
If your child decides it would be interesting to get up at 5 A.M. to watch the sun rise, or wants to start a jogging program early in the morning, ask permission, then go along. Demonstrate that newness is worth the effort. If your child is frightened to try something new, offer to do it too, saying “We’ll never know what it’s like until we try.”
What are some ways you encourage your kids to take challenges?
Richard Carlson, Ph.D. (5-16-61 to 12-13-06) was considered to be one of the foremost experts on happiness and stress reduction in the United States and around the world. As the author of thirty popular books including the runaway bestseller, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff…and it’s all Small Stuff, he showed millions of people how not to let the small things in life get the best of them.
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Great blog article Rhonda! Just this week I witnessed my 5th grader’s desire to try something new. Honestly, I’m not sure how much is how we have parented and how much is him!
It’s time to sign up for middle school and each child is given a chance to participate in either choir, orchestra or band. So far, the musical ability of our household has been listening to our ipods. But my son wants to be a drummer.
Most of his friends were going into another choice, but that didn’t phase him. I had a feeling that lots of kids were going to want to play drums so I asked the band leader what it takes to get that instrument. He said hand eye coordination and ability to keep a beat (or that’s what my non musical mind remembers!)
When I shared that with my son he had a gleam in his eye and said ‘I should have a pretty good chance then!’ My reply was ‘absolutely!’ So we are attracting a drumming future into his life. That’s how he’s going to be playing the drums in a rock band when he’s 70 (after he’s retired from professional sports, of coarse!)
Such great advice! I like trying new things myself, but now I am going to focus more on getting my kids to try too. Thanks, as always you have wonderful information and links.
Thanks Michelle. Let me know what new thing you decide to try!
Hi Cheri!
My son is 17 and we just got him a drum set for Christmas. He has already put an additional $400 into it and he has found some really cool free websites that teach you how to play the drums.
Let me know if you want to know what those websites are. My son is playing in the garage and it is LOUD!
I always encourage him to follow his dreams…and he is definitely a natural at it. But boy is it loud!
Thanks Rhonda! Another great post…I look forward to your posts with much anticipation…thank you for giving positive parents such great information!