Bear with me because I will tie this story back to a parenting lesson at the end of this post…
I took James Ray’s weekend course, Harmonic Wealth a few years ago. A friend of mine had an extra ticket and asked me if I wanted to attend the event in Chicago with her.
I jumped on a plane and the opportunity, being the self-help junkie that I am.
Even though it appeared to me pretty early on that James had a slight arrogance and superiority about him…I looked passed all that because his techniques were powerful…though I recognized some of them from a wide list of other programs I’d taken. Plus, he was charismatic, handsome and seemed to genuinely care about people. AND I was getting a TON out of the weekend.
The course was experiential in nature…so a lot of the breakthroughs I had stayed with me till now. It was a really eye-opening and empowering course. Except for a few strange things that took place…I was glad I went.
The strange things that happened during the weekend went as follows…
At the end of each evening, James would have the entire room (about 1,000 of us) STAND UP holding hands FOR AN HOUR OR MORE after an extremely long day with very little time for lunch. By this time, it had to be like midnight. He would walk around the room, in the middle….just talking and talking and talking about saving the world…but his voice seemed to be getting lower and lower and his words starting blending into each other and I could hardly understand what he was saying…even though he wore a microphone.
My feet were killing me from standing for soooooooo long.
My friend and I finally decided to sneak out when he wasn’t looking. We were afraid he might “call us out” if he saw us “escape”, even though I never saw him do that to anyone. There were others who broke off from the circle and “escaped” too…who also complained about the bazaar situation.
Some people in the circle were older and this was clearly hard on them to stand this long after such a long day. Heck, like I said, it was hard for me and I’m in my forties.
Next day…same thing. Wonderful, amazing day followed by this weird closing at the end, where everyone was instructed to stand in a circle for an hour at midnight or 1 am…(I don’t remember the exact time but I know it was around there. Actually, it might have even been later!). And guess what happened? I believe two people fainted. I know it was at least one-but I believe two. Like I said, it was two years ago…and an ambulance had to be called!
The people who fainted were taken into the area outside the ballroom so quickly that I never even saw it happen. I just remember seeing paramedics outside the door whizzing by and helping someone right outside the door.
We were quickly assured by James that everything was okay…and directed to focus on him and what he was mumbling. It was clear that NOTHING was going to take him away from talking to us while we were holding hands…STANDING…for an hour while he kept sharing the importance of his mission…OUR mission…to make a difference and change the planet….and eventually his words turned into more of a mumbling and I couldn’t understand a word of what he was saying!
I remember wondering if he was drinking too much chlorophyll and if that could be affecting his brain at this point which caused this ranting and mumbling. That’s what he drank all day long while on stage.
Again, my friend and I (and others) “escaped”. And when we made our “run for it” through the double doors and back to our hotel so we could get some rest, others in the group made negative comments about us leaving. I don’t remember the exact comments they made, but it was clear that some of the people that stayed thought we were bailing out on humanity by breaking off from the circle.
I’m no psychologist, but I bet this is part of the psychology of what happened in the “sweat lodge” incident. Not wanting to be singled out by the group or group leader as someone who bails. Not wanting to be in the spotlight in a negative light. Not wanting to be embarrassed or humiliated.
And so I came home with my board that I karate chopped in half during one of the exercises (Ray’s equivalent of Tony Robbin’s walking on fire) which proudly symbolized my breakthrough of busting through my money barriers…and I felt wonderful and empowered…and yes…in the back of my mind…a little disturbed by the holding hands/standing for an hour/mumbling James/people fainting incident. However, being the generous person I am…tried to overlook the bad and focus on the positive and give him the benefit of the doubt.
So here’s where I tie this whole thing back into parenting. I knew what “didn’t feel right to me”. And it didn’t feel right that James Ray would have all these people of all different ages and degrees of strength and health stand for this long.
The vibes I felt was that something wasn’t right here. It didn’t jive with me and I needed to take care of myself…and so I left. Twice.
This is such an important lesson to teach our kids. We need to teach our kids to honor their vibes. We need to let our children know it’s okay to listen to the voice inside of them…to follow their heart.
Were the people in the sweat lodge following their hearts or were they cast under a spell…giving all their power away to someone else?
Trust your instincts, even if the person is a “Guru”. What is a guru anyway? The only real guru we should be following is the one within ourselves. Yes, we can learn from others…but learning is different than giving your power away.
Here’s some of the words and questions you can use when talking to your kids:
Follow your gut
What do you think?
How do you feel about that?
I’ll tell you what I think – but first tell me what you think…
Follow your heart
Follow your instincts or intuition
These are all questions and phrases we can say to our kids to help them exercise that all-important muscle of intuition.
Intuition is the sixth sense and we are in the age of the Sixth Sense, folks. Let’s encourage intuition and trusting your vibes in our kids and teenagers so they can have the personal strength to break away from the group when things just don’t feel right.
{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }
Very interesting–thank you for sharing.
When you say Ray lowered his voice and started mumbling, did it sound like nonsense syllables, or perhaps another language? There are techniques from various esoteric practices of magick (which James claims lineage) that involve things like this. While most “magicians” do rituals for healing and transformation, I wouldn’t be surprised if James Ray literally was invoking the power of various malevolent entities in a ritual to gain control over the minds of the members of that group. Good on you for leaving!
Hello! I’ve heard from others that James Ray claims to be drinking chlorophyll while he’s speaking. I could be wrong about this, but I’m fairly certain that chlorophyll is a very distinct shade of green that stains teeth if consumed in large quantities.
Rhonda- thank you for sharing this! I attended the Harmonic Wealth seminar this past September and had the same feelings as you. I remember taking away the positive- there was some good information – BUT also had this nagging feeing that something just wasn’t quite “right” about the situation. I thought the standing around the room holding hands for SO LONG was very odd. My group was let at around 1:30 a.m. the first night and 1:00 a.m. the second night. Participants were “encouraged” to return on the second morning at 6:30 AM to join their Warrior Groups (support groups). My sleep was too important to me to attend! I could not possibly function on 4 hours of sleep knowing there would be another LONG day ahead.
I am curious about your feelings on the money exchange game at the end. That was totally bizarre. (Participants were asked to take out as much money as they believed their education was worth. High energy music was played and all 400 plus people were told to go around the room as fast as they could and trade money, not looking at what they were getting, with as many people as they could. Hearing “money exchange” game, I only put in $1.00. Several in our group LOST hundreds of dollars. One man put in $1,100, another woman $600- all the money she had for the weekend. They were stunned when the game was over and they were left with dollars. When James Ray was questioned about the point of the game, he asked them if the experience was worth their money. Huh? Then he “encouraged” people to go and buy his other seminars, $1200 and up. I could go on and on.
You are right- we should teach our children to listen to their intuition. A little reminder to ourselves wouldn’t hurt either!
You’re welcome. No, I don’t think it was anything like that. I thought he was just exhausted!
Hi Cassandra (I almost named my daughter Cassandra.) He told us he was drinking chlorophyll. I was kinda kidding when I said I thought maybe he drank too much of it. I have no idea what the effects of drinking chlorophyll are, except it’s supposed to be healthy for you.
I actually loved that money exercise. I really GOT IT. It made a huge difference for me. My breakthrough was that money is just energy flowing from one person to another. I saw how some people were so protective of theirs…not wanting to let it go and others just freely gave it away. I liked all of the exercises. The only thing I had a problem with was the standing for an hour at night.
Thanks for writing, Dorothy
This is an interesting post and I agree with you about your theory. I am certain that people did not want to leave or show weakness. I completely understand that concept.
I always had misgivings about James Ray. He was the one person in the Secret that I DID NOT like at all. I immediately was repelled by him. After watching the movie, I looked up James Ray and began to read his stuff because I wanted to investigate my reaction to him — was it was my instincts or did he have some lesson for me that was I blocking.
After I dispelled my initial gut reaction, I liked some of his stuff and appreciated the way he re-branded other teachings — but he was obvious to me. What I mean by that is he said the same thing every time. He had a monotonous speech pattern. He never let conversations stray. He seemed to be completely rehearsed — so attending his events never appealed to me. But his books were helpful.
It was when he struck a central nerve of my value system that I was clear — he was bad news and I validated (and applauded) my initial gut reaction to him. It took a couple of years of reading his stuff to clearly see his self-indulgent worldview, but it eventually became clear.
How we teach teens (or even adults) who don’t have the luxury of experience to have the discerning skills is a mystery to me but I think your formula at the end of this article is probably the best start.
Drinking chlorophyll and/or blue green algae is something that Tony Robbins and other Large Group Awareness Training leaders do as well. It is good for your health–in reasonable quantities–but it also makes you high in excess. Lots of folks in the health communities here in Boulder used to drink tons of “green drinks,” and some started to go a little crazy because of it. An herbalist friend of mine told me to stay away from drinking more than a tablespoon or so a day–many people end up drinking much, much more than that.
Ray was definitely not mumbling out of tiredness. He is a ruthless manipulator, and very strategic. Everything he does in his workshops is planned on-purpose to get more control and more money from participants, which is common in such Large Group Awareness Trainings. I highly recommend you spend some time reading this thread on the Rick Ross Cult Education Forum about the death lodge event:
http://forum.rickross.com/read.php?12,77450,77484
This link, http://forum.rickross.com/read.php?12,77450,79418#msg-79418 , speaks directly to what Duff discussed above.
Three of us once checked out his pitch evenings where he lectures for free to pitch his weekends and materials. He was drinking that chlorophyll like he was addicted to it, which I found ironic given what he was saying in his lecture. His smile was forced and fake and there was a coldness about him.
I will never forget how he held up individual CDs from his recordings for people in the audience to race up and grab. I remember thinking “not in a million years would I dash to the front of anything for one CD of a set of anything.”
Weeks later I ran into a woman who had purchased his CD set and said how awful ut was – how he reads in monotone and never really comes to a point. It seems his CD grab game was just a way to trick people into thinking they were amazingly valuable so that more people would buy the complete set.
I wasn’t about to buy anything from a self-claimed guru who needed to drink galleons of chlorophyll to talk to a group of people about something he is supposedly is passionate about. I wasn’t buying it, and am so glad I never did.
Hi Rhonda, thank you for this article. It’s so easy to disempower ourselves by not listening to a voice inside that tells us something is not right for us. Other people have their own reasons for suggesting we don’t listen to that voice which means we must have a strong ability (instinct) to keep in touch with them. I believe this does take training. Training ourselves to feel different feelings including the ones we would prefer to ignore. It is often these uncomfortable feelings that alert us to a bad situation – as yours did. Applying this to teenagers and even using a method might be a great idea.
Regarding James Ray and the weekend with my friend Rhonda. I found James to be a gifted speaker and comunicator of very hard info to study and understand. Like quantum phy. and the different religions etc. his words are understandable for the average person or child. He also had an amazing exerise that with about 1000 of us in the room it took 200 to stand along the wall to come up and cross the stage. His question was how much in % is effort or intention to accomplishing what you desire or want. the room was all over the place with answers. then he asked them to cross over the stage EACH IN A DIFFERENT WAY. one walked, hopped, etc. till all of the 200 crossed. the lesson is you can intent to get across the stage or get what you want however enless you put your first step on the stage or into what you want with effort there is not results. I found it amazing that each person was able to come up with a different way to cross with out duplication. as well as the lesson is 100% effort, action, just get out of your own way, out of your head. It was truly sad what happen at the lodge. People want to blame others for what happens to them. Sorry nothing happens to them. Be responsible and own you actions. Yes we left, we needed to manage our wellbeing. I was in a lodge type enviroment too and everyone has that choice to leave or stay. do you beat yourself up afterwards or to you congradulate yourself for honoring yourself. Love to you Rhonda and family.
LoraLee
Rhonda, thank you for sharing your experience with James Ray. I attended a free seminar he gave in Denver a year or so ago, and I was somewhat afraid to post my reaction because I didn’t want to ruffle the guru feathers. I felt a similar feeling to Terri that commented above, after seeing him in the Secret, but I did like his message. In his FREE seminar he reminded me of a school teacher that delivers a great message but has little or no regard for the emotional toll they have on the student. Yes, unfortunately there are teachers like that. Ann Epstein, a child psychologist from Harvard Medical school says “one of the most common triggers of suicide in children and teens is a humiliating experience” At the end of James’ talk, he of course directs you to complete the order form his assistant’s handed out to purchase his products. I was totally shocked at how he would “center out” a person if they declined to purchase anything in an almost humiliating way in front of a few hundred people. He literally tried to make you feel that you obviously want to live a small and purposeless life if you don’t buy his Millionaire Mindset books and CD’s or sign up for the next Harmonic Wealth Weekend. I was one who set the order form on my chair and started for the door. I could feel him looking at me as I walked to the back of the room with his words making me want to run. Most, if not all adults have experienced humiliation, embarrassment and ridicule and we know the stinging blow these experiences can have on us. These experiences can have catastrophic effects on a child and their emotional well-being and I think anyone who addresses children needs to keep that in mind. Though insightful, and somewhat creepy, the James Ray experience certainly has a lesson in it for how to recognize our own behavior with our children. There always seems to be a great opportunity to learn something that will benefit us and those around us in the things that we first think of as a negative experience.
Thanks again so much for posting this.
If there is one thing I’ve learned, maybe even the hard way, is to always listen to my inner voice. For years, I struggled trying to take action, do things that others thought I should and didn’t feel right about, but thought “they were the expert” and it must be the right way. When I shifted my thinking, started taking the information I learned from seminars, CDs, DVDs and books and listening to what my inner guidance system together it truly changed my life. Stopping, taking a few moments and reaching what “feels” right before taking action is a much easier way of life.
Thanks Rhonda for reminding us all to listen to our inner voice and to remind our children of that also.
Thanks Michelle. That’s what it’s all about. Listening to our Inner Voice.
Hey Lora Lee, so glad you chimed in. Thanks for underscoring all the good that we got out of that weekend. And thanks again for inviting me.
Hey Patrick, and we are still like kids…it never feels good to be humiliated in front of the group…or to sense that you might be if you did what was right for you…
I am glad I took Insight Seminars. It was a loving, gentle and caring seminar that didn’t involve any hardships, even though we learned to take some risks. I feel sad about James Ray because I do think he had caring intentions all along. It is the same with parenting, we can teach our child lessons without involving punishing or hardship of any kind..Love Gramma Shirah
Thanks for your post, Rhonda. Yes, the lesson is clear and valuable. Don’t proceed with something, no matter how lofty the guru, unless you personally feel good about it. As Abraham says, we’ve got to “take everybody else out of the equation” and notice how it feels to us.
In reference to what Michelle said about listening to your inner voice… Dr. Robert Firestone, a superb and highly regarded psychologist, has written a great book (several, in fact) in not just listening to and *respecting* your inner voice, but understnding, managing & coping with negative inner voices. He has a workbook for about $12 on Amazon called “Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice: A Revolutionary Program to Counter Negative Thoughts and Live Free from Imagined Limitations” – No seminars, workshops, etc., just one excellent, inexpensive book. You can see it here, with reviews on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Conquer-Your-Critical-Inner-Voice/dp/1572242876
He’s written several books, including “Compassionate Child-Rearing: An In-Depth Approach to Optimal Parenting ” – also on Amazon. I cannot tell you how much I wish my parents would have had a book like this.
I think the bottom line for what we do and what we allow others to do to us must be based, at a minimum, on compassion and respect.
Dorothy wrote the following about the “Money Game”:
“I am curious about your feelings on the money exchange game at the end. That was totally bizarre. (Participants were asked to take out as much money as they believed their education was worth. High energy music was played and all 400 plus people were told to go around the room as fast as they could and trade money, not looking at what they were getting, with as many people as they could. Hearing “money exchange” game, I only put in $1.00. Several in our group LOST hundreds of dollars. One man put in $1,100, another woman $600- all the money she had for the weekend. They were stunned when the game was over and they were left with dollars. When James Ray was questioned about the point of the game, he asked them if the experience was worth their money. Huh? Then he “encouraged” people to go and buy his other seminars, $1200 and up. I could go on and on.”
I wonder if part of the motive of the ‘game’ was that people who lost a lot of money would feel like they had to get something back – feel diminished – and be more motivated to but Ray’s very expensive packages while those who didn’t lose anything or even came out ahead would be compelled to do the same because it ‘worked’ for them.
The money people took out to play the game was, I think, what James Ray felt HE would ultimately end up with after the game was up. Notice how attendees were pushed to buy Ray’s expensive books, CDs and packages immediately after the ‘game’ while those feelings were fresh.
Have you ever gone to a casino and lost a fair amount of money right away? Generally, you’re ticked and want to get it back. In fact, you’re *determined* to get it back. And you chase the money you lost with more money. I think that was Ray’s intent.
Good thing fewer and fewer people carry – I’m hoping it puts a dent in his ‘money game.” Unless he has an ATM put into the ballroom, which wouldn’t surprise me at all. Then you’re under even more pressure to play full on with cash.
Dorothy wrote the following about the “Money Game”:
“I am curious about your feelings on the money exchange game at the end. That was totally bizarre. (Participants were asked to take out as much money as they believed their education was worth. High energy music was played and all 400 plus people were told to go around the room as fast as they could and trade money, not looking at what they were getting, with as many people as they could. Hearing “money exchange” game, I only put in $1.00. Several in our group LOST hundreds of dollars. One man put in $1,100, another woman $600- all the money she had for the weekend. They were stunned when the game was over and they were left with dollars. When James Ray was questioned about the point of the game, he asked them if the experience was worth their money. Huh? Then he “encouraged” people to go and buy his other seminars, $1200 and up. I could go on and on.”
I wonder if part of the motive of the ‘game’ was that people who lost a lot of money would feel like they had to get something back – feel diminished – and be more motivated to but Ray’s very expensive packages while those who didn’t lose anything or even came out ahead would be compelled to do the same because it ‘worked’ for them.
The money people took out to play the game was, I think, what James Ray felt HE would ultimately end up with after the game was up. Notice how attendees were pushed to buy Ray’s expensive books, CDs and packages immediately after the ‘game’ while those feelings were fresh.
Have you ever gone to a casino and lost a fair amount of money right away? Generally, you’re ticked and want to get it back. In fact, you’re *determined* to get it back. And you chase the money you lost with more money. I think that was Ray’s intent.
Good thing fewer and fewer people carry – I’m hoping it puts a dent in his ‘money game.” Unless he has an ATM put into the ballroom, which wouldn’t surprise me at all. Then you’re under even more pressure to play full on with cash.
Hi Catherine,
thanks for your comment. Like I said, I liked the money exercise in the Harmonic Wealth weekend. I experienced a huge breakthrough around money because of it.