I was reading “Money, and the Law of Attraction” by Esther and Jerry Hicks  last night and came across this quote:

“Words Do Not Teach, but Life Experience Does”

This is exactly what we focus on at KidsAwakening.

Being a role model for our kids is more important and more impactful than trying to explain how The Law of Attraction works by using our words.

You will be much more effective if you teach by example. Your children will learn from their life experience…and part of their life experience is watching you live your life experience.

For instance, say you want to teach your kids to pursue their dreams. You can use your “words” by saying things like,

“You know honey, I really want you to pursue your dreams in life. Go for it!”

And of course, loving statements like this are very powerful. Your support and encouragement will allow your children to believe that anything is possible and build a sense of validation within them. They will feel validated and you will have given them a green light to pursue what they are passionate about in their lives.

But if you aren’t pursuing your own dreams, then your words won’t carry much weight at all.

I have said to my kids:

“I waited until I was older to pursue my dreams because I didn’t think any of them could come true. I was told that ‘good things just don’t happen to people like us’.

But I don’t believe that anymore.

I believe everyone should follow their dreams.  And you don’t have to wait until you’re my age to follow yours!

You can learn from me and know that you can create a life that you really love by pursuing what you love to do now.”

If you REALLY want them to “get it”, then let them see you pursuing your dreams.

But you should also be honest with them. If you’re a “late bloomer” like some of us, it’s okay to tell your kids that.

And don’t worry about whether you’re a “big success” or not. Just by taking actions toward your dreams is HUGE and to coin a cliché, it’s all about the journey anyway!

My children have seen me pursue many dreams. They have seen me succeed and they have seen me fail. I use the word fail here, but I really don’t believe following your dreams ever leads to failure. It’s all good. It’s all life experience. It’s simply learning about “contrast”, which means learning more about what you like and what you don’t like…so you can focus on what you really want.

There was a time I spent a few years writing a screenplay for a romantic comedy – a full length feature film. That is quite an undertaking. I put my heart and soul into it. I held the dream for many years that I would be a famous screenplay writer.

My son watched he whole process as a young boy. However, I never did sell that screenplay. And now, 15 years later…my son wants to be a film director.

I guess he didn’t get discouraged by my “failure”…instead, he was inspired to pursue his passions.

Your kids will learn by your life experience and your willingness to “go for it”.

You’ll pave the way for them to follow their inner guidance.

So what actions will you take today to dig out and dust off an old dream of yours that you’d like to pursue, just for the fun of it?

Think of what a fabulous role model you’ll be to your kids (and teens)…and everybody else in your life for that matter!

As a parent, most of us face times when we get frustrated and stressed out if we feel our kids aren’t behaving.

“Why aren’t they cooperating?” we wonder.

“Why do they seem like they’re fighting me on everything!”

Here’s what John Gray, in his book “Children Are From Heaven”  has to say about how to minimize resistance:

“Instead of demanding obedience, positive-parenting skills use children’s resistance to strengthen their will to cooperate. Repeated attempts to break a child’s will through the threat of punishment or disapproval ultimately undermine a child’s natural willingness to cooperate. As long as the will is nurtured and not broken, children’s willingness to cooperate will grow and resistance be minimized.

By nurturing our children’s need at times of resistance, we can most effectively minimize resistance while keeping their will intact. These are the four ways of nurturing:

1. Listening and understanding
2. Preparation and structure
3. Distraction and direction
4. Ritual and rhythm

To let go of their resistance and feel their inner urge to cooperate, children need understanding, structure, rhythm, and direction. Unless these different needs are being met, children easily disconnect with their inner willingness to cooperate. For example, by means of new listening skills, a parent is able to show that children’s feelings, wants, wishes, and needs are being seen, heard, and understood. When this need for understanding is met, children automatically become less resistant and more cooperative.

Although these needs are universal for all children, every child is unique and may have a greater need in one area or another. If a child needs more understanding, it does not means that he or she doesn’t have other needs as well. Each is important for every child, but one or two may be more important for a particular child.

One of your children may respond well to listening and understanding, while another requires preparation and structure. As you become familiar with each of these skills, you will discover how powerful each is. Fulfilling certain needs will create an immediate positive response in your children depending upon their unique temperament.”

Which of the above ways of nurturing do you think works best for your child?

Okay, I admit it. Even though I am a Law of Attraction Parenting Expert, I still sometimes fall into the trap of criticizing my kids when I know they’ve got a low grade simply because they forgot to turn in work. But criticizing rarely, if ever is effective. But I catch myself pretty quickly now after years of experience.

Here is a section from  “Celebrate Your Child: The Art of Happy Parenting” and it’s by Richard Carlson, Ph.D.  Richard is probably best known for  his book: Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff…and it’s all Small Stuff.

“You might confuse a lack of criticism with a lack of loving guidance, that criticism is the only way to show your children to the correct path. But criticism is only one form of guidance, negative guidance based on a deficiency model of living. In a sense, the criticism model of guidance says: Tell your child enough that he isn’t good enough and he will come around to the “right way.”

Loving guidance is quite different. It is based on a model of growth. Guidance is based on the premise that your child is perfect just the way he is – right now. If he didn’t change one inch, if he never learned to crawl, or to walk, or to read,  or to do his math problems, it shouldn’t matter to you. Of course, you want these things for your child but you mustn’t require them in exchange for your love. You would love him just as much-forever-if he never changed one bit.

The guidance model goes on to say: Given the fact that your child is perfect-and he knows in his heart that he is perfect and also knows that you feel he is perfect-go ahead and encourage him to improve himself, to be the very best that he can. The guidance model works well in parenting, because children love to learn and excel when they don’t feel pressured, when they feel that it’s okay to be a beginner and to make mistakes.

People who don’t feel good about themselves, or who don’t feel as though it’s okay to make mistakes, feel threatened when they think about improving. So, if you say to your child who doesn’t feel very good about himself, “You don’t work very hard on your math,  it’s no wonder you do so poorly,” you are reinforcing an already negative self-outlook. A likely response is going to be “Who cares anyway?”

Children who are approached with guidance instead of criticism feel they have nothing to lose when you offer a suggestion. A parent who says, “I know you have it in you to do well in math and I have confidence that you can do it. Let’s see if we can work together to improve your skills,” is instilling a vote of confidence into their child’s mind. With self-assurance, children can do just about anything.”

I met my friend Barbara for lunch yesterday and she still can’t stop talking about the first time I attended her Law of Attraction meeting.

You see, we did this little exercise in her meeting. Here’s how it goes.

We chose a partner and then we told each other about a special goal we have…you know, something we would LOVE to manifest in our lives.

Then we had a “make-believe” conversation, pretending like the thing we wanted already happened. For instance, if my goal was to be on Oprah as a best selling author, my partner would say something like this:

“Rhonda, I tuned in to watch Oprah yesterday and YOU were there, talking to Oprah about your best selling book! Oh my God! I am so excited for you! You are amazing. I am so happy for you! I heard you’ve sold over a million copies!”

My friend Barbara keeps talking about when I was at the meeting because you could say my partner and I were the entertainment of the afternoon! Why?

Because we both went a little overboard. We were quite dramatic and it was like two high school girls jumping and screaming as if we just landed a date with the 2 cutest guys in school.

Anyway, I’m telling you all this because, imagine my surprise when Natalie of MindMovies shared this same technique in one of her 4 Steps to Happiness which you can get for absolutely f.ree right here:

http://bit.ly/bdsFVC

And don’t forget to try this exercise. It really is powerful. It helps you raise your vibration to the place where you can manifest what you want.

What you are actually doing is what Wayne Dyer calls, “Assuming the Feeling”. You are assuming the feeling of how you will feel when the thing you want actually comes true.

Even though this sounds silly, please do not underestimate the power of this exercise.

Young children will have no problem “pretending”. They get it. It’s us adults who resist! So practice with your kids. You’ll have a ball. Let me know what happens!

My son got his drivers license last week and I was nervous. I mean, is he REALLY old enough??? (Well, he is 17…but the picture on the left kind of expresses how I feel, if you know what I mean.)

But I kept referring back to The Law of Attraction in my mind. I mean, what kind of message was I sending out to him if I kept focusing on “what could happen”?

So I kept bringing myself back to the question (as I usually do), what do I want? “Remember, Rhonda”, I said to myself…focus on what you want, not what you don’t want.

So what I want is my son to be safe. What I want is my son to be independent, happy, responsible and live a fulfilled life. What I want is my son to be a good driver. What I want is for my son not to text and drive or talk on the phone while driving. Ooops, that’s focusing on what I don’t want again. So how can I word this in a way that is focusing on what I want?

What I want is for my son to be a responsible driver. A good driver.

My son is a good and safe driver. Yes, that is what I want.

And lucky me, he only asks to borrow the car to drive 5 minutes away to his friend’s house, and he didn’t even ask to borrow it on the weekend – Yet.

I am grateful that my son passed his driver’s test and is transitioning slowly and responsibly into a driving adult!

Where can you focus on what you want instead of what you don’t want?

Here’s what Law of Attraction and Relationship Coach Anisa Aven has to say about attracting the love you want, whether you’re in a relationship or looking!

“What you put your attention upon expands and you magnetize and attract into your life whatever you FEEL and THINK on a regular basis.

When it comes to attracting a relationship, if you don’t find it EASY, then rest assured you are allowing a limiting belief to run (and ruin) your life!

And, until you eliminate that limiting belief – you will not attract the relationship you really desire.

You have the Power within to intentionally harness the Law of Attraction and manifest your ideal relationship. As you eliminate the fog of negativity that surrounds you, (this is true, even if you are a fairly positive person) you will notice more potential mates everywhere you go!”

You can find out more about Anisa Aven here and her special Valentine’s Day Promotion

I was a single parent for seven years before I met my current husband. My children were very small when I was raising them on my own…and my life was a lot more hectic back then. I wanted very much to attract a healthy relationship, but I was scared. To tell you the truth, I found myself focusing a lot on the fact that “I was alone” and “how hard it was being a single parent” and how much I didn’t like it.

Well, guess what? The more I focused on being alone, the more “aloneness” I got!

The good news is I was aware of what I was doing and I knew that my thoughts were creating my reality. I knew that if I wanted to attract a healthy relationship, the best thing I could do is be happy, and stop focusing on what I didn’t want.

Once I finally decided to enjoy myself, no matter what my relationship status was…and once I decided to upgrade my thoughts and emotions to feeling excited about the day I would meet someone who would fit most of the traits on my Wish List, it wasn’t long before I actually met him.

I don’t mean to sugar coat everything. It was a process. I’m a big proponent of The Law of Detachment because I believe that’s as important as The Law of Attraction.

If you’re attached to the specific results, such as: I want to attract a mate by next month, or it has to be a specific person like Suzie or Johnnie, then you are probably attached to the results.

The same rule applies to the situation where you would like to experience more love and joy in your current relationship.

While focusing on what you want is the best thing you can do, being attached to the outcome can keep what you want at arms length.

The simple formula for manifesting anything, even more love and joy in your current relationship is:

1. Ask The Universe (Visualize, Imagine it the way you want it to be)
2. Take Inspired Action (When you are inspired to take action, take it!)
3. Trust that the Universe will bring what you want to you in Divine Order.

And remember, it may not look exactly the way you saw it in your imagination…and that’s okay. Because who doesn’t love happy surprises?

A new study of 8,550 four-year-old children (in the U.S.) were 40% less likely to be obese when they practiced these three healthy habits:

1. Eat dinner together with their family more than 5 times a week
2. Get at least 10.5 hours of sleep per night
3. Watch less than 2 hours of TV a day

These findings make a lot of sense to me.

Let’s take them one by one.

Eating Together With the Family

My son is 17 now and it’s difficult to get him to eat dinner with us as much as I like. If he were to eat dinner with us, he would be getting more of a balanced meal. But instead, he likes to go out to eat with his friends…or catch something to eat later, which is usually not too nutritious.

If young children are not lucky enough to have the opportunity to sit down and eat with the family because that’s not something that’s happening in their home, then…what are they eating? Does it come out of a crinkly bags and rhyme with hips? Yes, we are a convenience nation. Just watch the movie, Food Inc.

Getting 10.5 Hours of Sleep Per Night

What I’ve been learning about not getting enough sleep (thanks to my own familiarity with insomnia – in fact. it’s 2:31 AM and I’m sitting here writing this blog!)…is not enough sleep makes you H-U-N-G-R-Y!

It makes you crave more carbs. Something to do with the brain. When you do eventually fall asleep and wake up with a sleep deficit…you have a bigger appetite than if you would have slept a healthy amount of hours for your age.

So imagine if we just ensured kids were getting enough of sleep? That sounds like an easy fix, although for some parents, simple is not a way of life. I know, I was there.

For instance, being a single parent who has to get up at the crack of dawn and put kids to bed early which leaves her very little time to spend with them. There are all sorts of scenarios, I’m sure. But it is worth coming up with solutions. Obesity is a serious problem.

Watch Less Than 2 Hours of TV a Day

This one is a no-brainer. Watching TV and eating junk-food go hand in hand. Over-do it with one and chances are you’re gonna over-do it with the other. We must find a way to model living life fully…away from the TV. And our children will learn from us.

I think this information is helpful…and it’s not like it’s super-duper difficult to make these changes (because perfection is not what this is about. Improvement is the key. Baby steps…transforming over time). A little effort here and there can go a long way.

What do you think? What’s your experience?

To read the full article on CNN, click here:

http://bit.ly/9gwft0

Here is a quote from the teachings of Abraham (www.abraham-hicks.com)

The children desire freedom! And every particle of their being from their Source says, “You are free. You are so free, that every thought you offer, the entire Universe jumps to respond to it.” And so, to take that kind of knowledge and try to confine it in any way, defies the Laws of the Universe. You must allow your children to be free, because the entire Universe is set up to accommodate that. And anything you do to the contrary will only bring you regret. You cannot contain those that cannot be contained. It defies Law.

Excerpted from a workshop in Atlanta, GA on Sunday, September 19th, 1999

All Is Well

The other day I started to think about what makes one person grow up to take chances in life and try new things…and another almost hyperventilate at the thought of trying something new. And then I remembered a book I’ve had for many, many years.

Here is a section from that book with 5 tips on how to encourage your kids to take chances. The title of the book is “Celebrate Your Child: The Art of Happy Parenting” and it’s by Richard Carlson, Ph.D.  Richard is probably best known for  his book: Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff…and it’s all Small Stuff.

“Regrets Result from Unattempted Challenges

In my entire adult lifetime, I’ve meet very few people who regretted things they tried that were unsuccessful. Almost always, regret is tied to a life that wasn’t fully lived, activities never attempted, career changes that never happened, places never visited, people never met, and so forth.

As we look back at our life, we have a profound understanding that failure is nothing to be afraid of; it is a necessary component to life, which helps shape our direction. We learn and grow from every failure. No one likes it, but it has to happen.

Creative children grow up to have almost no regrets because they were willing to take chances and follow their own path. Fostering a creative, risk-0taking attitude in your child is a gift that will ensure a happy, adventuresome life.

Five Simple Ways to Encourage Risk-Taking

1. Take a class with your child on something you know nothing about.

Take a ballet class or a model-building class, something different-something you know nothing about. Be the only man in an all-women’s class, or the only woman in an all0-men’s class. Show your children that it’s okay to be different andit’s okay to be a beginner.

2. Praise people for trying.

Never say “Look at that fool.” Never laugh at someone because he isn’t an expert. If you do, your child will learn to avoid new things for fear of looking like a fool. Instead, praise people for trying new things. Applaud beginners. Give them as much, or more, praise than the winner.

3. Ask your child what he would like to do that he’s never done before.

Rather than repeating last week’s activities, ask your chi ld to think of something he’s always wanted to do. If he can’t think of anything, participate in the exercise. “Let’s see, I wonder if it would be fu n to…” Encourage newness and exploration.

4. Encourage enthusiasm for the unknown.

Whenever your child says, “I wonder what it would be like to try…,” encourage it. Respond with an enthusiastic, “I’m sure you can.” If possible, try it too. Say, “Hey, maybe we could check it out together.”

5. Be willing to undertake some discomfort or inconvenience to help your child experience newness.

If your child decides it would be interesting to get up at 5 A.M. to watch the sun rise, or wants to start a jogging program early in the morning, ask permission, then go along. Demonstrate that newness is worth the effort. If your child is frightened to try something new, offer to do it too, saying “We’ll never know what it’s like until we try.”

What are some ways you encourage your kids to take challenges?

Richard Carlson, Ph.D. (5-16-61 to 12-13-06) was considered to be one of the foremost experts on happiness and stress reduction in the United States and around the world. As the author of thirty popular books including the runaway bestseller, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff…and it’s all Small Stuff, he showed millions of people how not to let the small things in life get the best of them.

Are your children constantly asking you for money? Or other things like more toys, more candy, more “fill in the blank.”

And do you sometimes get frustrated because you don’t want to keep saying “No, you can’t have that.”  You don’t want to squash their natural desire for more.

It is only natural and healthy to want more, after all.

So what’s a parent to do?

I just listened to a wonderful, short Abraham-Hicks video on youtube:

A Mom asks the question, “My 4-year-old daughter wants so many things…but I don’t want to keep saying ‘No’. But I can’t give her everything she keeps asking for. What do I do?”

Here’s my notes of what Abraham said (but watch the video  so what I’ve written here will make more sense):

Say your child wants more money. You could say…

“I love it that you want more money. And I love it how your desire will bring you more money from a lot of different places.”

Focus on the perfection of your child’s desire instead of focusing on YOU being the sole provider through which all of their money will flow.

You can add, “Won’t it be fun to watch what other avenues your money will come from?”

I can definitely express this to my teenagers when they keep asking me for more money. You can adjust the language when communicating to toddlers.

You’ll have to listen to the video to really get all this…but I thought it was so helpful. I know one parent who makes a habit of never saying “No.” Instead, she says to her little ones, let’s put that on the list!

And she adds whatever they want to a list on the refrigerator…with the idea behind it being…it’s sort of their vision board/manifestation list. She also explains how it’s amazing how her children seem to manifest the things on the list!

Plus, there’s so many more lessons in this video, such as…

Children come to teach us about unconditional love.

No one can make me feel anything. I am the only one responsible for how I feel.

The longer you live, the more you get used to your tantrums. You just learn how to stop screaming (like little 4 year olds do when they’re out of alignment with their true source.) When you are aligned with your inner source, the less inner trantrums you will have.

How to be the best parent you can be: Mind your own Vortex…in other words…model being aligned with your true source/Inner being…and allow your children to do the same.

Your main job is to “get in the Vortex”. Get in the vortex means, constantly strive to get to a better feeling place by thinking better and better thoughts.

Demonstrate how to “Be in the Vortex” by example and not through your words. In other words, children learn from what you do, instead of what you say.