One of the books I’ve read recently that is changing my life is called “Women, Food and God” by Geneen Roth.

Reading this book really made me feel like, wow…finally somebody understands me.

Finally, somebody has articulated what I’ve been feeling, thinking and living.

To paraphrase, Geneen says that understanding your relationship with food (for those of us who compulsively overeat) is the doorway to understanding your relationship with Source or God or whatever you choose to call God or The Universe.

I know – this sounds a little like, “huh? what?” when you first hear it…but it starts to make sense when you read the book. Basically, when you overeat or eat when you’re not hungry – you are disconnecting yourself from source. (Not that you can really disconnect yourself from Source – but you are disconnecting yourself consciously from your Inner Being – Higher Power.) It’s the same like with any addiction I believe.

It’s a way of numbing yourself – of not feeling your emotions. I know I eat when I’m not hungry to not feel emotions…or because like Geneen say, I’m craving something sweet in my life so I eat something sweet instead. Or I’m craving love or attention or compassion or connection or I’m lonely or bored or frustrated or angry. So I eat for all these reasons because I’m afraid if I let myself feel the emotions or deal with the feeling…I couldn’t handle it. I might die.

Geneen was on Oprah for a second segment about Women, Food and God this past Monday for Questions and Answers from the audience.

One concerned mom said (and I am paraphrasing again), “How can I keep my daughter from inheriting my addiction to food?”

Another mother was worried about setting a horrible example for her children.

I know I worry about passing down some less than ideal habits regarding food to my children.

In fact, I’ve always been rather obsessed with this topic…which may not be the best thing for my kids, I know.

Thank goodness for my understanding of how the Law of Attraction works. That really helped me throughout the years. Here’s how:

I know that what I focus on is what I attract….so whenever I would start worrying about my kids and trying like heck not to pass down bad eating habits…(a lot of good focusing trying NOT to do something does!)…

Instead…I always try to find a better feeling thought that involves seeing my children healthy, fit and active.

But it is something I do on a daily basis. Making that choice. Worrying about them…or choosing a better feeling thought. Worrying about being a bad role model when it comes to food, or choosing to see them happy, healthy and fit with a healthy relationship with food.

But according to Geneen…which I totally agree with…the best thing I can do for my kids is to take care of MYSELF FIRST. Focus on my own relationship with food.

That’s what we teach here at KidsAwakening – take care of yourself first – be a role model. That’s how you best help your kids.

Here’s my notes on how Geneen and Oprah answered this woman’s question concerned about passing on her addiction to food to her daughter:

If your daughter, for instance, sees you using food for boredom or unhappiness or tiredness, then she will learn from you.

Children imitate what you do – not what you tell them to do.

You can’t give to your children what you don’t have for yourself, so it’s about taking care of yourself first.

The best thing you can do for your children is to understand YOUR relationship with food.

Okay, this is me again. So how exactly do you begin to explore and understand your own relationship with food?

Well, I could try to explain it here, which hopefully I’ve done a little bit, but if you really want to explore this topic further, I suggest you get Geneen’s book, Women Food and God.

There is also a link on www.oprah.com with a free 15 week course based on Women Food and God and you can also visit www.geneenroth.com to learn more about her work or sign up for her self-guided online retreat. I did the retreat online (the live one – I’m sure this is the recording of that) and it was the best money I’ve ever spent ($247 – but the self-guided online retreat is only $147).

I feel I am gradually changing my eating habits without dieting and without beating myself up when I eat things I wish I hadn’t.

I have to tell you, I am really putting into practice only eating when I am hungry and sometimes I do and sometimes I don’t but it’s all about taking baby steps and building new habits. I am so grateful I found Geneen! I see a change a comin’!

Did you see Geneen on Oprah? Have you read Women, Food and God? What do you think about her approach…and her advice to parents concerned about passing on addictive eating behavior to their kids?

I was at a Fourth of July party and got to talking to a dear friend of mine, Diane.  (Hi Diane!) She, like so many of us, is concerned about the animals, and of course the humans (that means all of us), affected by the oil spill in the Gulf.

I told Diane I would look online when I got home to see what Abraham-Hicks has to say about it.

I wanted to share this with you because I thought it was an explanation that, if it makes sense to you, you could share with your kids.

You can find out more about Abraham Hicks here: www.abraham-hicks.com

So here’s what good old Abe has to say: .

“Isn’t it wonderful that through this situation that so many people are asking for a cleaner, more balanced environment?  Isn’t it great that so many are asking for new sources of energy that are in greater harmony with our environment?  Isn’t it great that so many people are asking for more prosperity, stability and independence from the things they had been relying upon?  Isn’t it great that the plants and animals in the affected area are asking for what they want, too?  Isn’t it wonderful that Source is responding with a resounding, enthusiastic, “YES!” to each and every request being made?

Isn’t it wonderful that the plants, animals, bacteria, and the like know that it’s easy for them to re-emerge into non-physical, gain the benefit of all the things they’ve asked for and then turn right back around and be born back into their improved physical experience?  Isn’t it wonderful that there are many people who have the knowledge, talent and desire to find the solutions to all of the questions that have arisen?  Aren’t the inspiration, energy and well-being that will flow through them in response to this myriad of desires incredibly delicious and satisfying?  Isn’t the flow of abundance and well-being that’s going to emerge as a result of this sequence of events staggering?

All really is well here and because of what’s going on, it’s going to get a heck of a lot well-er.”

What do you think about the above quote?

Do you think good will come of the gulf oil spill?

Recently Cora, a KidsAwakening subscriber purchased my Inspired Parenting Course, and while doing one of the exercises in the course, began to come up with some new questions about her life.

She sent me an email the other day asking…

“How come I keep attracting liars into my life when I’m a very honest, truthful and trusting person? And why do I keep attracting manipulative, negative behavior from my kids?”

My answer to Cora is based on my understanding of the Law of Attraction as taught through the teachngs of Abraham (you can find out more about Abraham here: www.abraham-hicks.com).

Here’s Cora’s questions:

Cora:

I’ve started reading, doing the exercises and thoroughly enjoying the Inspired Parenting course, it’s so well laid out and organized. My twin boys are already feeling the shift in me.

I have a question though, on something which I never fully managed to understand, and which one of the first exercises in your course, Inspired Parenting has brought up again…and I wonder if you could have some insight.

I am thoroughly honest through and through. I never tell lies, never have, and I never attack people (if I’m upset I take it out on myself). But also, I was (and still am) totally trusting. I don’t even contemplate the possibility that people may be actively lying to me. I still don’t.

My question is, the father of my twins is very dishonest and abusive. So I just don’t understand how could I attract such a liar and manipulator in my life?

Also, I recently found out that a nanny I had always trusted and treated as a sister has been lying, deceiving and subtly manipulating me.

And in addition, coming to the exercise in Inspired Parenting about what three behaviors I am concerned about regarding my children, two were:

Jordan being such a pain with me – screaming so loud, spanking/pinching me, whining.

And Zack manipulating me to hurt me emotionally — and successfully, as he manages to upset me so badly (e.g. saying he wants to stay at home with my live-in rather than coming to my office to meet my friends, when I know for sure that the latter is what he really wants)

Then in the following exercise about the fact that everything in our world is a mirror image of something that is going on inside of us. So how do these behaviors relate to me in some way?

Could there be something, a lesson, I need to learn? And if I don’t learn this lesson, this will keep showing up in my life until I learn it?

But I don’t want the lesson to be that I cannot trust people!!

Really, is it ALWAYS the case that everything in our world is a mirror image of something that is going on inside of us? Or could it also be that we attract something because we have a lesson to learn?

Rhonda:
I understand your question. We often ask ourselves, “How did I attract this? Why am I attracting this situation or these people in my life?”

I will answer you with the level of understanding that I have today…and that is…whatever you focus on you attract more of. So if you are focusing on how dishonest your boyfriend is or was, you will attract more of that into your life.

If you focus on how manipulative your children are…then you will attract more of the same.

If you focus on what a liar your nanny is…you will again…attract more lying into your life.

While it is helpful to look within and just start an inquiry…such as “Where is this coming from? Where am I not-trusting…or where am I manipulative…and just start a gentle asking to the Universe…but according to the teachings of Abraham, this is not necessary.

If it feels good to you to ask those questions, then ask…but Abraham says to just keep focusing on better feeling thoughts. Keep changing your point of attraction until you are thinking of something that makes you feel better.

And if you do begin the inquiry…do so with kindness and patience. There is no rush to find the answers. Just allow the answers to come to you when you are ready to see them.

I used to believe that life on this planet is a classroom and we will keep on experiencing the same things over and over until we “learn the lesson”, but I don’t necessarily believe that anymore.

Instead, I believe it is a matter of what we are focusing on.

It is a matter of  “the story we are telling”.

If you keep on telling the story (even though it is a very real story for you, I know) that people around you are dishonest and are lying to you…then that is your focus.

So…can you come up with a new story that you can start telling…that you can live into?

Because what you focus on expands…what you ignore…becomes smaller.

The Law of Attraction says that we attract what we give our attention to. So my simple advice to you would be to start shifting your focus…

Here’s another perspective:
We are not good or bad people or honest or dishonest people attracting this or that into our lives. We are simply people attracting into our lives “whatever we give the most attention to.”

So, what I would say to you is when you find yourself asking these questions “Why am I attracting such negative behavior?” …shift your focus to visualizing your children as you would like them to be.

Shift your focus to something you like or love about them. Think of 10 things you are grateful for about your kids.

And when you find yourself thinking about how mean your ex is or was…try and think of a few things you are grateful for…like, well, he gave me these beautiful children or….I appreciate  the good times we had…or….ANYTHING you can think of to be appreciative…or just think about something else if you can’t think of anything good to think about him!

I hope this helps,

Light and Love,

Rhonda

P.S. Also, I wanted to direct you to www.abraham-hicks.com.

These are my teachers about The Law of Attraction. There is a lot of free stuff there and if you go to www.youtube.com and google “esther hicks children” or “abraham hicks children” “abraham hicks parenting” “abraham hicks relationships” you will find a ton of free videos to watch and learn more about The Law of Attraction and parenting or The Law of Attraction and relationships.

I recently read this really short but fantastic book called “The Law of Connection” by Michael J. Losier.

Reading this book has helped me better understand and communicate with my children, as well as better understand myself.

I took the self-assessment quiz in the book, and to my surprise, I found out that my style of communication is Kinesthetic. I was shocked!

I always assumed I was visual, even though my husband suspected that I was NOT visual. Turns out, he was right!

I had everyone in the family take the quiz and learned that my daughter is Kinesthetic, my son is Auditory and my husband is actually the one who is Visual (that’s probably why he knew that I wasn’t!).

So how can this type of information help you as a parent?

Actually, it can be VERY helpful with any relationship you have: kids, spouses, co-workers and just about anybody you interact with.

But today, we are going to talk about using this information to help us communicate more effectively with our significant others and our children and teenagers.

Here is a brief description of the different communication styles taken from Michael’s book “Law of Connection”….

Page 25
Visual Style People

• See things as pictures
• Memorize by creating visual pictures in their mind
• Learn Quickly
• Get bored easily when they have no plans
• Value time, so they like things to start and end punctually
• Prefer getting the “big picture” rather than the details

Page 27
Commonly Used Phrases for the Visual Style Communicator

• I see what you mean.
• That’s not clear enough.
• Don’t keep me in the dark.
• This is making me see red.
• Just give me the big picture.
• I want to get a new perspective.
• I get the picture.
• I see what you are talking about.
• That’s fuzzy to me.
• Can you clarify?

Page 34
Auditory Style People

• Remember what they hear-word for word
• Learn by listening and often don’t take notes
• Are good storytellers
• Talk to themselves when working or concentrating (You can often hear them making sounds like ahh, hmmm, oooh, umm)

Page 36
Commonly Used Phrases of the Auditory Style Communicator

• Tell me more.
• I hear you loud and clear.
• That rings a bell.
• It was music to my ears.
• It was all double talk.
• Squeal like a pig.
• Tune in/out.
• That clicks for me.
• That resonates with me.

Page 44
Kinesthetic Style People

• Often speak slowly
• Learn best through doing
• Need time to “feel their way” through new information
• May say that they “feel” something is either right or wrong when asked to make a decision
• Have a tendency to take time to “settle into” a new environment or situation or to nest

Page 46
Kinesthetic Style Commonly Used Expressions

• Let’s touch upon this.
• Get comfortable with…
• Walk me through this.
• It just rubs me the wrong way.
• I get the point.
• It feels right to me.
• I’m getting a grasp on this.
• I’ve got a handle on that now.
• This fits.
• That sits well with me.

Page 54
Digital Style People

• Memorize by steps and sequences
• Process information in a methodical, rational, and logical way
• Are very detail oriented
• Have a strong need to make sense of the world around them
• Learn by working things out in their mind
• Need time to process new information

Page 56
Digital Style Commonly Used Expressions

• Without a doubt.
• Word for word.
• Describe in detail.
• Figure it out.
• Make sense of it.
• Pay attention to…
• I know.
• I know what you mean.

I know you may see yourself or your children in more than one of these communication styles, but when anyone takes the quiz in the book, they will score higher in one area – and the author says that is your primary communication style.

How This Helped Me With My Husband
I’d like to give you a few examples of how this information helped me understand and communicate better with my husband and then with my two children (and understand myself better).

The book obviously has a lot more information in it than I have copied here. You will learn more about each communication style in MUCH greater detail if you get the book, which I highly recommend doing.

What I learned about myself by taking the Self-Assessment Questionnaire is that I am a Kinesthetic Communicator, and like I said, my husband is Visual.

Now, my husband and I are not only married, but we also work together, and so I often find that communication, mostly when we’re working together…is soooooooooo NOT easy.

This always confused me. I would often say, it’s like we are speaking two different languages.

Well, guess what? We were!

After reading this book, things started to make sense. One of the problems is that we are communicating with two different communication styles.

I like to focus on one thing at a time. Throw too many details at me and I get overwhelmed. I’m also a very linear thinker and I take things very literally.

My husband usually speaks in generalities because he’s focusing on the big picture, plus he likes to throw a lot of different ideas at me and sort of jump around a lot by going off on a different path or train of thought.

Being Kinesthetic, this can drive me crazy!

Now, I have more patience with my husband when we’re at work because I know that we have different communication styles. So I try to use words that he understands and he tries to explain things in my “language”.

How Did This Information Help Me With My Kids?
Okay, so what about what I’ve learned about my kids and how to better communicate with them?

My Son
Well, it was no surprise that my son is auditory. Music is his passion.

Learning about his communication style helped me use words that resonate more with him when trying to connect with him.

Also, I learned that auditory people usually have a good memory and don’t take a lot of notes and probably don’t study much.

Well, that is my son. Knowing that helped me feel better about his reluctance to study. Yes, he does do well in school.

And yes,  he could probably do better if he studied…but he is pretty confident in his mental abilities.

So…you could say I began to understand him better. Learning about his communication style has helped me allow him to “be” his authentic self and allowed me to just feel good about that. (Notice I used the words “feel good” in the last sentence. Definitely a Kinesthetic thing.)

My Daughter
Finding out that my daughter and I both have Kinesthetic communication styles in common was a happy surprise for me. I figured she was Kinesthetic, but was shocked to learn that I was too!

Her and I are not fast talkers like my son who talks REALLY fast. I used to think she talks like me because she learned it from me…but my son does not talk like me…so there goes that theory. Now, I believe my daughter and I have the same speaking tendencies because we both share the same communication style.

We both also are touchy-feely types, and we both become overwhelmed when we have too many choices or complicated tasks to complete.

Knowing this information helps me be able to understand her if she gets stressed out about something (usually she doesn’t get too stressed out because she’s having too much fun!).

Digital Communication Styles. Know One?

I don’t have anyone in my immediate family who is a Digital Communicator, although I did score high on that as well.

Digital communicators are very structured and organized, and you could say rigid and even stubborn when their plans are interrupted or changed.

Flexibility is not their biggest strength, although you want a digital person on your team to take care of all the details. They’ll do a GREAT job!

I hope you enjoyed this post as much as I enjoyed learning all about communication styles. You can find out more about Michael Losier’s book here.

So what communication style do you think your child is? Write it down below in a post.

I was reading “Money, and the Law of Attraction” by Esther and Jerry Hicks  last night and came across this quote:

“Words Do Not Teach, but Life Experience Does”

This is exactly what we focus on at KidsAwakening.

Being a role model for our kids is more important and more impactful than trying to explain how The Law of Attraction works by using our words.

You will be much more effective if you teach by example. Your children will learn from their life experience…and part of their life experience is watching you live your life experience.

For instance, say you want to teach your kids to pursue their dreams. You can use your “words” by saying things like,

“You know honey, I really want you to pursue your dreams in life. Go for it!”

And of course, loving statements like this are very powerful. Your support and encouragement will allow your children to believe that anything is possible and build a sense of validation within them. They will feel validated and you will have given them a green light to pursue what they are passionate about in their lives.

But if you aren’t pursuing your own dreams, then your words won’t carry much weight at all.

I have said to my kids:

“I waited until I was older to pursue my dreams because I didn’t think any of them could come true. I was told that ‘good things just don’t happen to people like us’.

But I don’t believe that anymore.

I believe everyone should follow their dreams.  And you don’t have to wait until you’re my age to follow yours!

You can learn from me and know that you can create a life that you really love by pursuing what you love to do now.”

If you REALLY want them to “get it”, then let them see you pursuing your dreams.

But you should also be honest with them. If you’re a “late bloomer” like some of us, it’s okay to tell your kids that.

And don’t worry about whether you’re a “big success” or not. Just by taking actions toward your dreams is HUGE and to coin a cliché, it’s all about the journey anyway!

My children have seen me pursue many dreams. They have seen me succeed and they have seen me fail. I use the word fail here, but I really don’t believe following your dreams ever leads to failure. It’s all good. It’s all life experience. It’s simply learning about “contrast”, which means learning more about what you like and what you don’t like…so you can focus on what you really want.

There was a time I spent a few years writing a screenplay for a romantic comedy – a full length feature film. That is quite an undertaking. I put my heart and soul into it. I held the dream for many years that I would be a famous screenplay writer.

My son watched he whole process as a young boy. However, I never did sell that screenplay. And now, 15 years later…my son wants to be a film director.

I guess he didn’t get discouraged by my “failure”…instead, he was inspired to pursue his passions.

Your kids will learn by your life experience and your willingness to “go for it”.

You’ll pave the way for them to follow their inner guidance.

So what actions will you take today to dig out and dust off an old dream of yours that you’d like to pursue, just for the fun of it?

Think of what a fabulous role model you’ll be to your kids (and teens)…and everybody else in your life for that matter!

As a parent, most of us face times when we get frustrated and stressed out if we feel our kids aren’t behaving.

“Why aren’t they cooperating?” we wonder.

“Why do they seem like they’re fighting me on everything!”

Here’s what John Gray, in his book “Children Are From Heaven”  has to say about how to minimize resistance:

“Instead of demanding obedience, positive-parenting skills use children’s resistance to strengthen their will to cooperate. Repeated attempts to break a child’s will through the threat of punishment or disapproval ultimately undermine a child’s natural willingness to cooperate. As long as the will is nurtured and not broken, children’s willingness to cooperate will grow and resistance be minimized.

By nurturing our children’s need at times of resistance, we can most effectively minimize resistance while keeping their will intact. These are the four ways of nurturing:

1. Listening and understanding
2. Preparation and structure
3. Distraction and direction
4. Ritual and rhythm

To let go of their resistance and feel their inner urge to cooperate, children need understanding, structure, rhythm, and direction. Unless these different needs are being met, children easily disconnect with their inner willingness to cooperate. For example, by means of new listening skills, a parent is able to show that children’s feelings, wants, wishes, and needs are being seen, heard, and understood. When this need for understanding is met, children automatically become less resistant and more cooperative.

Although these needs are universal for all children, every child is unique and may have a greater need in one area or another. If a child needs more understanding, it does not means that he or she doesn’t have other needs as well. Each is important for every child, but one or two may be more important for a particular child.

One of your children may respond well to listening and understanding, while another requires preparation and structure. As you become familiar with each of these skills, you will discover how powerful each is. Fulfilling certain needs will create an immediate positive response in your children depending upon their unique temperament.”

Which of the above ways of nurturing do you think works best for your child?

Okay, I admit it. Even though I am a Law of Attraction Parenting Expert, I still sometimes fall into the trap of criticizing my kids when I know they’ve got a low grade simply because they forgot to turn in work. But criticizing rarely, if ever is effective. But I catch myself pretty quickly now after years of experience.

Here is a section from  “Celebrate Your Child: The Art of Happy Parenting” and it’s by Richard Carlson, Ph.D.  Richard is probably best known for  his book: Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff…and it’s all Small Stuff.

“You might confuse a lack of criticism with a lack of loving guidance, that criticism is the only way to show your children to the correct path. But criticism is only one form of guidance, negative guidance based on a deficiency model of living. In a sense, the criticism model of guidance says: Tell your child enough that he isn’t good enough and he will come around to the “right way.”

Loving guidance is quite different. It is based on a model of growth. Guidance is based on the premise that your child is perfect just the way he is – right now. If he didn’t change one inch, if he never learned to crawl, or to walk, or to read,  or to do his math problems, it shouldn’t matter to you. Of course, you want these things for your child but you mustn’t require them in exchange for your love. You would love him just as much-forever-if he never changed one bit.

The guidance model goes on to say: Given the fact that your child is perfect-and he knows in his heart that he is perfect and also knows that you feel he is perfect-go ahead and encourage him to improve himself, to be the very best that he can. The guidance model works well in parenting, because children love to learn and excel when they don’t feel pressured, when they feel that it’s okay to be a beginner and to make mistakes.

People who don’t feel good about themselves, or who don’t feel as though it’s okay to make mistakes, feel threatened when they think about improving. So, if you say to your child who doesn’t feel very good about himself, “You don’t work very hard on your math,  it’s no wonder you do so poorly,” you are reinforcing an already negative self-outlook. A likely response is going to be “Who cares anyway?”

Children who are approached with guidance instead of criticism feel they have nothing to lose when you offer a suggestion. A parent who says, “I know you have it in you to do well in math and I have confidence that you can do it. Let’s see if we can work together to improve your skills,” is instilling a vote of confidence into their child’s mind. With self-assurance, children can do just about anything.”

I met my friend Barbara for lunch yesterday and she still can’t stop talking about the first time I attended her Law of Attraction meeting.

You see, we did this little exercise in her meeting. Here’s how it goes.

We chose a partner and then we told each other about a special goal we have…you know, something we would LOVE to manifest in our lives.

Then we had a “make-believe” conversation, pretending like the thing we wanted already happened. For instance, if my goal was to be on Oprah as a best selling author, my partner would say something like this:

“Rhonda, I tuned in to watch Oprah yesterday and YOU were there, talking to Oprah about your best selling book! Oh my God! I am so excited for you! You are amazing. I am so happy for you! I heard you’ve sold over a million copies!”

My friend Barbara keeps talking about when I was at the meeting because you could say my partner and I were the entertainment of the afternoon! Why?

Because we both went a little overboard. We were quite dramatic and it was like two high school girls jumping and screaming as if we just landed a date with the 2 cutest guys in school.

Anyway, I’m telling you all this because, imagine my surprise when Natalie of MindMovies shared this same technique in one of her 4 Steps to Happiness which you can get for absolutely f.ree right here:

http://bit.ly/bdsFVC

And don’t forget to try this exercise. It really is powerful. It helps you raise your vibration to the place where you can manifest what you want.

What you are actually doing is what Wayne Dyer calls, “Assuming the Feeling”. You are assuming the feeling of how you will feel when the thing you want actually comes true.

Even though this sounds silly, please do not underestimate the power of this exercise.

Young children will have no problem “pretending”. They get it. It’s us adults who resist! So practice with your kids. You’ll have a ball. Let me know what happens!

My son got his drivers license last week and I was nervous. I mean, is he REALLY old enough??? (Well, he is 17…but the picture on the left kind of expresses how I feel, if you know what I mean.)

But I kept referring back to The Law of Attraction in my mind. I mean, what kind of message was I sending out to him if I kept focusing on “what could happen”?

So I kept bringing myself back to the question (as I usually do), what do I want? “Remember, Rhonda”, I said to myself…focus on what you want, not what you don’t want.

So what I want is my son to be safe. What I want is my son to be independent, happy, responsible and live a fulfilled life. What I want is my son to be a good driver. What I want is for my son not to text and drive or talk on the phone while driving. Ooops, that’s focusing on what I don’t want again. So how can I word this in a way that is focusing on what I want?

What I want is for my son to be a responsible driver. A good driver.

My son is a good and safe driver. Yes, that is what I want.

And lucky me, he only asks to borrow the car to drive 5 minutes away to his friend’s house, and he didn’t even ask to borrow it on the weekend – Yet.

I am grateful that my son passed his driver’s test and is transitioning slowly and responsibly into a driving adult!

Where can you focus on what you want instead of what you don’t want?

Here’s what Law of Attraction and Relationship Coach Anisa Aven has to say about attracting the love you want, whether you’re in a relationship or looking!

“What you put your attention upon expands and you magnetize and attract into your life whatever you FEEL and THINK on a regular basis.

When it comes to attracting a relationship, if you don’t find it EASY, then rest assured you are allowing a limiting belief to run (and ruin) your life!

And, until you eliminate that limiting belief – you will not attract the relationship you really desire.

You have the Power within to intentionally harness the Law of Attraction and manifest your ideal relationship. As you eliminate the fog of negativity that surrounds you, (this is true, even if you are a fairly positive person) you will notice more potential mates everywhere you go!”

You can find out more about Anisa Aven here and her special Valentine’s Day Promotion

I was a single parent for seven years before I met my current husband. My children were very small when I was raising them on my own…and my life was a lot more hectic back then. I wanted very much to attract a healthy relationship, but I was scared. To tell you the truth, I found myself focusing a lot on the fact that “I was alone” and “how hard it was being a single parent” and how much I didn’t like it.

Well, guess what? The more I focused on being alone, the more “aloneness” I got!

The good news is I was aware of what I was doing and I knew that my thoughts were creating my reality. I knew that if I wanted to attract a healthy relationship, the best thing I could do is be happy, and stop focusing on what I didn’t want.

Once I finally decided to enjoy myself, no matter what my relationship status was…and once I decided to upgrade my thoughts and emotions to feeling excited about the day I would meet someone who would fit most of the traits on my Wish List, it wasn’t long before I actually met him.

I don’t mean to sugar coat everything. It was a process. I’m a big proponent of The Law of Detachment because I believe that’s as important as The Law of Attraction.

If you’re attached to the specific results, such as: I want to attract a mate by next month, or it has to be a specific person like Suzie or Johnnie, then you are probably attached to the results.

The same rule applies to the situation where you would like to experience more love and joy in your current relationship.

While focusing on what you want is the best thing you can do, being attached to the outcome can keep what you want at arms length.

The simple formula for manifesting anything, even more love and joy in your current relationship is:

1. Ask The Universe (Visualize, Imagine it the way you want it to be)
2. Take Inspired Action (When you are inspired to take action, take it!)
3. Trust that the Universe will bring what you want to you in Divine Order.

And remember, it may not look exactly the way you saw it in your imagination…and that’s okay. Because who doesn’t love happy surprises?