One of the books I’ve read recently that is changing my life is called “Women, Food and God” by Geneen Roth.
Reading this book really made me feel like, wow…finally somebody understands me.
Finally, somebody has articulated what I’ve been feeling, thinking and living.
To paraphrase, Geneen says that understanding your relationship with food (for those of us who compulsively overeat) is the doorway to understanding your relationship with Source or God or whatever you choose to call God or The Universe.
I know – this sounds a little like, “huh? what?” when you first hear it…but it starts to make sense when you read the book. Basically, when you overeat or eat when you’re not hungry – you are disconnecting yourself from source. (Not that you can really disconnect yourself from Source – but you are disconnecting yourself consciously from your Inner Being – Higher Power.) It’s the same like with any addiction I believe.
It’s a way of numbing yourself – of not feeling your emotions. I know I eat when I’m not hungry to not feel emotions…or because like Geneen say, I’m craving something sweet in my life so I eat something sweet instead. Or I’m craving love or attention or compassion or connection or I’m lonely or bored or frustrated or angry. So I eat for all these reasons because I’m afraid if I let myself feel the emotions or deal with the feeling…I couldn’t handle it. I might die.
Geneen was on Oprah for a second segment about Women, Food and God this past Monday for Questions and Answers from the audience.
One concerned mom said (and I am paraphrasing again), “How can I keep my daughter from inheriting my addiction to food?”
Another mother was worried about setting a horrible example for her children.
I know I worry about passing down some less than ideal habits regarding food to my children.
In fact, I’ve always been rather obsessed with this topic…which may not be the best thing for my kids, I know.
Thank goodness for my understanding of how the Law of Attraction works. That really helped me throughout the years. Here’s how:
I know that what I focus on is what I attract….so whenever I would start worrying about my kids and trying like heck not to pass down bad eating habits…(a lot of good focusing trying NOT to do something does!)…
Instead…I always try to find a better feeling thought that involves seeing my children healthy, fit and active.
But it is something I do on a daily basis. Making that choice. Worrying about them…or choosing a better feeling thought. Worrying about being a bad role model when it comes to food, or choosing to see them happy, healthy and fit with a healthy relationship with food.
But according to Geneen…which I totally agree with…the best thing I can do for my kids is to take care of MYSELF FIRST. Focus on my own relationship with food.
That’s what we teach here at KidsAwakening – take care of yourself first – be a role model. That’s how you best help your kids.
Here’s my notes on how Geneen and Oprah answered this woman’s question concerned about passing on her addiction to food to her daughter:
If your daughter, for instance, sees you using food for boredom or unhappiness or tiredness, then she will learn from you.
Children imitate what you do – not what you tell them to do.
You can’t give to your children what you don’t have for yourself, so it’s about taking care of yourself first.
The best thing you can do for your children is to understand YOUR relationship with food.
Okay, this is me again. So how exactly do you begin to explore and understand your own relationship with food?
Well, I could try to explain it here, which hopefully I’ve done a little bit, but if you really want to explore this topic further, I suggest you get Geneen’s book, Women Food and God.
There is also a link on www.oprah.com with a free 15 week course based on Women Food and God and you can also visit www.geneenroth.com to learn more about her work or sign up for her self-guided online retreat. I did the retreat online (the live one – I’m sure this is the recording of that) and it was the best money I’ve ever spent ($247 – but the self-guided online retreat is only $147).
I feel I am gradually changing my eating habits without dieting and without beating myself up when I eat things I wish I hadn’t.
I have to tell you, I am really putting into practice only eating when I am hungry and sometimes I do and sometimes I don’t but it’s all about taking baby steps and building new habits. I am so grateful I found Geneen! I see a change a comin’!
Did you see Geneen on Oprah? Have you read Women, Food and God? What do you think about her approach…and her advice to parents concerned about passing on addictive eating behavior to their kids?
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Thank Rhonda, great Blog! You are very right, if we focus on being healthy and fit, we will attract it. I feel that it helps to ask the question ‘what do i need to hide behind the food i feel like eating?’ helps as well. not being so judgmental of yourself but to just allow the feeling of needing food be, acknowledge it. Being aware of why the urge to eat sweets appears, always seems to help. maybe you will realize that you saw your parents eat when they were stressed, once you have realized that you can make the conscious decision to change that habit!
I think the only way to get a really healthy relationship with food is when eating it to try to really really tast it , feel it, enjoy it, chew it ( a lot: the more you chew the sweeter it becomes) and thank G-d for providing this for you. It will nurish and satify you body and soul and will take away the need to overeat. I think the overeating is there because people are afraid to feel their body and this way it will create a loving positive attitude towards food and what it can do for you. It will make you feel grateful which is the best trade a person can have.